The 80-90 born generation in India likes doing two things. The first is socializing on online platforms, and second is pursuing an MBA.
Everyone likes ‘doing’ an MBA. As a matter of fact, for most Indian males, on the list of things we like doing by preference, MBA will be a close second.
Now, for 40 percent of the population MBA is simply a very expensive Rapidex English Speaking course. 20 percent do it since they just want to postpone the act of actually working. For 10 percent, getting married was proving to be difficult without that MBA degree. The rest 30 percent do it, since the other 70 is doing it, and it seemed like a smart thing to do.
But a B-school experience ain’t really a B-school experience, unless it has the following:
The ‘I’m not here for placements’ guy
Every b-school has at least one of these ‘I’m not here for placements’ guy. He generally follows it up with a ‘I’m here for the learning’ and what not bull-crap. The ironical and equally irritating deal is when you see the ‘I’m not here for placements’ guys salivating as soon as the first company comes to campus and applying for every profile at every damn company. The kind of feelings most harbour for these irritating fagots range from strangling to a more pleasant poisoning.
The only true ‘I’m not here for placements’ people in B-schools are the former engineering students, who are genuinely not here for placements, but for girls. Since post seeing the b-school brochure, they felt confident that the sex-ratio here will be at-least better than their engineering colleges.
The B-school Girl
There are essentially two kinds of B-school girls, the good ones and the bad ones. The bad girl b-school girls drinks beer and will start dating the baddest guy within a month. The good and innocent b-school girl however does not drink beer, talks over phone with one guy, lunches with the second guy, forms team for stupid projects with the third guy, goes to gym with the fourth and cries about her erstwhile heartbreak with the fifth. Take your pick.
The philanthropist Teacher
Every b-school will have one philanthropist teacher who wants you to leave it all and instead do something for the society. She’s one person who just refuses to accept that you are simply a materialistic as***e who’d readily sell his soul for money and instead wants you to focus on weird things like making the world a better place and helping poor people. Most students love her to death except a few who actually pretend to love her even more. Such are the ways of the world.
The ish-tud
The ish-tud is quite simply one person who’s just too cool for everything. He’s too cool to study, too cool to date a girl, too cool to care for frivolous things such as money since his dad had plenty of it, too cool to prepare for campus placements, too cool to care for frivolous thinks like laws and everything. He’s almost like a mini-version of Salman Khan right in your class, except that he’s not really well-ripped and has not really ever dated Katrina Kaif.
The Real-Head
Every b-school has a head, who’s generally titled dean or director or Head of Department. But his real power in the institute is equivalent to Manmohan Singh’s in our sweet country. So who’s the real boss then? Well, every b-school also always has one guy, who in an unassuming position, basically runs the institute. He’s the one to take all the decisions, decide if you’ll get expelled for getting caught drunk on campus, save your gullible a** if you get in any trouble and essentially decide how smooth your MBA will be. He is more essential to the institute than well the students and the professors, and just below the all-important companies campus visiting companies.
*P.S: I might act all out against an MBA, but being quite a materialistic assole myself I’m happily pursuing the same. And it’s been a fascinating experience to say the least. For starters, for a guy who’s suffered all his life from a premature greying of hair problem, a b-school is simply a brilliant place, since the balding problems of so many of your other classmates make your hair problems look less striking, which is quite simply a very new and fantastic experience.
