So Bilawal, Whose Kashmir is it Anyway?

Over the last two days my Facebook timeline has started looking more and more like the YouTube comments of an India-Pakistan cricket match video. Angry people have given befitting (according to them at least) reply to Bilawal Bhutto, which usually range from calling him a Pakistani Rahul Gandhi to making mature allegations that his present state is because he could not satisfy Hina Rabbani.

The exact comment made by Bilawal, that has caused so much widespread social media agitation (can’t believe that’s a thing now), is ‘I will take back Kashmir, all of it, and I will not leave behind a single inch of it because, like the other provinces, it belongs to Pakistan’.

Now the impossibility of the statement itself is unquestionable, since to truly obtain every single inch of Kashmir, Pakistan would have to not only fight India but the home-country of Jackie Chan. And if that were to ever happen then leave aside Kashmir my dear Bilawal, you’ll suddenly find yourself fighting to Chinese claims to Baluchistan and Sindh as well.

So what Bilawal said was more of a dramatic statement and might as well have been ‘Ma ka, Dada ka, sabka badla lega tera yeh Bilawal’. Also, let’s keep in mind this is a statement made by a politician looking to win in the general elections of a country next year and in such a situation he is pretty much expected to make populist statements to connect to ‘his’ people. In all probability he would go on to make Kejriwal-ish statements about removing corruption from its roots in Pakistan, while Zardari would be making ten percent of the ad revenue from his youtube speech and a poor man named irony would simply die crying.

But the point is, he will continue doing so since that’s what politicians do to score brownie points amongst your junta. Were we Indians really expecting Bilawal Bhutto to say, "Let’s give away whole of Kashmir to India. In fact, Sunny Deol can take all our hand pumps too. And yes, please vote for me next year homies cuz I'm so awesome.”

It might really hurt some of us to know this, but he is not really supposed to give much of consideration to what random people on social networking websites from his supposedly rival country feel about his statements, no matter how much we tag him on Twitter and FB. If anything, disapproval from Indian masses is likely to be a mention-worthy positive on his resume.

If tomorrow Modi were to say ‘Pakistan ki MkC, Kashmir aapru che. Here’s a thepla to all of Pakistan’, I have a vague feeling that no Pakistani household will be mighty pleased with that statement. But if it comes to the amount of fucks Modi would give to Pakistan’s reaction to what he says, the answer would be stark in-your-face ‘none’.

The most hilarious aspect of this entire episode has been the Bilawal - Rahul Gandhi comparison. Just imagine a poor RaGa sitting in a quite dark room in a house on Janpath Road shouting agitatedly, “WTF dude, I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING THIS TIME. Why me mom? Why me?... ok, get me a pasta”. 

I almost feel sad for Rahul Gandhi now. Here was a man who won the MTV Youth Icon in 2009, beating Rahul Dravid (and please bear in mind, hardly anything beats Rahul Dravid. I know this as a Ganguly), and thought the world was for his taking and is now reduced to such a state that even IIPM pass-outs, call centre employees and roadies aspirants mock him.

Coming back to the point of Bilawal and our sensible reaction to his statement, let’s not make over-reaction a way of our life. It is little scary if our Social Media behaviour starts looking like our traffic with horns blazing and adrenaline raging at the slightest of provocations. Politicians say shit, let’s move on…