Oh
my poor Arvind Kejriwal, what have you done now? It really takes special
efforts to ensure that public opinions favour someone as repulsive as Nitin
Gadkari over you, and yet you manage it with such ease.
How could this really happen? Where did the whole plot go wrong? When
exactly did this transition take place, from being the symbol of middle class’
hopes to middle class’ latest drama dosage? How and when did people start
enjoying every slap you get? Why do you seem to be in jail more often than
Sanjay Dutt? When did you become the butt of all WhatsApp jokes in a way that
would put Alok Nath and Tiger Shroff to shame?
Maybe it was when you started believing in the Bollywood bimbo notion of ‘any
publicity is good publicity’. But certainly, you with your IIT degrees must be
smart enough to realize that’s not true, at least not in politics. Maybe it was
when you made your now characteristic u-turns at a rate that would have made Bill
Clinton proud. Maybe it was when Yogendra Yadav started sounding more like Sri
Sri Ravi Shankar and every time he talked during those extremely fruitful
debate panels it felt like he is giving an inhale-exhale exercise. It’s hard to
pin point when exactly you started making it enjoyable for middle class to see
you suffer, but you managed it with so much lack of class and panache that
KRK started seeming quite all right in comparison.
You have your supporters pointing out that you have to sit in jail while
corrupt people like Gadkari roam around freely, which sounds so naive that one
almost feels like going ‘awww..’. Do you really think Gadkari’s honesty is even
a question here? Do you really feel that that anyone with an iota of
intelligence would not be able to tell from just one look at that walrus of a
man that he is corrupt as hell? Do you think we don’t know that it’s impossible
to have those ‘Sonakshi Sinha’ jaanghs (the word ‘thighs’ would really not do
justice) with honest hard-earned money? Hell, everyone knows he must be corrupt.
But still we enjoy your misery because somehow in the last six months, you made
‘irritating’ your middle name. It’s ironic that your rise was the result of
middle class frustration of the system and the way it functions, and at this
rate your downfall too would be the result of the same middle class frustration
and venting it out through shit happening to you. Quite frankly, the current
post election-results phase for AAP could really be christened ‘The Beginning
of the End’. Because it seems now only Poonam Pandey can rescue your dipping
fortunes with the age old 'I'll pose naked if he wins’, which let’s face it
really appeals well to the mature Indian Junta.
Do you realize what you have just managed with your latest antics? You made people complain about traffic problems faced because of your supporters assembling outside the Tihar. Now that really is a new low. You know people already have their mind made up, when one of their biggest complains about a political personality is ‘dude, he caused a traffic jam’. Hell, we have thieves, dacoits, murderers, rapists and genocide coordinators in the sweet world of Indian politics, and if amongst all that you are being hated since your party caused a traffic jam, then boy, you must be despised already.
Perhaps you should make a phone call to the likes of Wayne Rooney and
Louis Figo, who would tell you quite elaborately about the whole ‘We hate you so, because we loved you so’ phenomena. Perhaps in your so-called apology you could genuinely admit that ‘you fucked up’ instead of giving us the whole ‘we didn't do anything wrong, but am apologizing since you guys are angry with us’, which sounds so much like a boyfriend-girlfriend apology which gets the other partner even more infuriated. Please get your act right, Mr Kejriwal. We need you to be a model statesman first and perhaps then an ambitious news-hungry political Rakhi Sawant clone. Please stop being so adamant and following the Honey Singh prescribed way of ‘screw signs given by public, yeh Aam Aadmi Part yu hee chalegi’.
We need the hope that you had given us of a system that would be better than
this. We need what you had promised to prove all those detractors who go about
saying ‘is desh ka kuch nahi hoga, bahar chalo’ wrong. We need you to be a calm
aadmi first, and then perhaps an aam aadmi.
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