Ever wondered about the outcome if we mix and mash the two
movies, ‘Gladiator’ and ‘A Few Good Men’. Episode 6 gives us just
that if not more, except that you’re rooting for the accused and hoping like
hell that someone in the Jury might have a little bit of that thing the guy in ‘A
Girl Next Door’ kept talking about (moral fibre, in case you’re wondering).
But let’s start from the beginning. Episode 6
kicks off with old chums Davos and Stannis arriving at the Iron Bank of Bravos through
this grand entrance between the legs of a massive statue which might be a
big deal to westerners, but for us has been a usual sight while entering those
awesomely designed Hanuman temples right in heart of Delhi.
The trouble is that the head of the finance committee at the
Iron Bank, which decides whether to sanction the loan to Stannis, happens
to be Mycroft from Sherlock himself. And let’s be honest about this, people of
normal intellect are not likely to stand a chance around the 250+ IQ Mycroft,
leave alone these two ragged oldies whom you can only imagine cheering for West
ham United in some dark and depressing British pub. In my head I could
literally place Mycroft making all his deductions about these two and pretty
much figuring out their entire lives without even batting an eyelid.
In any case, the entire proceeding seems to perfectly
resemble a VISA interview where the applicant’s ego, morale, self-respect and
dignity are carefully crucified before rejecting his/her plea. Davos tries to
plead with them that Stannis is the only plausible choice they have if they
ever wish to get back their gold, although I really didn’t get Davos’ rationale
of ‘He’s the best choice. Hell, he even cut my fingers ensuring misery for the
rest of my life. So awesome he is’.
Post this Davos heads to the bathing chambers to
bring along the services of his old fellow-pirate Salladhor Saan in return for
some gold in a scene reminiscent of what must have transpired when Vijay Mallya tried to buy Chris Gayle for Royal Challengers.
We move on to the rescue mission of Theon Greyjoy, or
whatever is left of him, led by none other than his sweet sister Yara Greyjoy,
who seems to be the future image of what Arya Stark aspires to be. I can
literally imagine Arya’s prompt response on being asked by the HR interviewer
‘So, where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’ Arya: Yara Greyjoy it is, with
a bit of Brienne strength.
Yara’s plans of course go horribly wrong when her brother,
who by now has lost his identity and believes himself to this pleasant fellow named Reek, raises an alarm and we have a face-to-face situation between the
two parties, the rescuers and the ‘let’s kill the rescuers’. To sum it up, the
latter party wins with Yara bolting the scene and the castle as fast as she
could, not that she really had the choice of strolling out casually considering
there were a pack of hounds running after her. In an almost continuing scene
our sweet twisted Ramasay gives Theon the luxury of a bath for having stayed
loyal to him and reveals sinister plans for some other day. I feel bad for
Theon. Although he was never really portrayed as the viewer’s favourite
character, it’s really sad to see him converted to this mockery of a person. It
is quite ironical how in India if someone’s penis is cut out, they hardly
become this submissive and instead just start going ‘aye chkinei, shaadi ka
paisa?’ (just a dark joke, relax).
Meanwhile, Daenerys has started her own version of
Diwan-e-khas. The episode featured just two cases dealt by Dani Dearest and the
mere thought that there were 212 more requests lined up made you realize what
Kejriwal found out the hard way, that Janta durbars don’t really have a very
happy ending. More so when you have 3 sweet pet dragons that time to time go on
this dinner spree of wondering herds.
Back in King’s Landing, Varys seems to be filling in where
Lord Baelish/ Littlefinger left and continues on their common thought of ‘let
these blue-blooded stupid Royalties feel that they are running the show while
we continue playing Master of Puppets with them. Muhuhaha’.
Quite frankly, Lord Varys seems to be one dangerous
character and once you get over the Darren Lehman resemblance to this guy, you realize
the scariest part about him is that you don’t have the slightest clue as to
what he actually wants. Lord Oberryn, who really should be called Enrique
Iglesias of Westeros, finds this out too in his conversation with the former.
And now coming to the final part of the episode and quite
frankly the only part that mattered. Tyrion’s trial begins with Tommen recusing
himself from it. Tommen, unlike the PM candidate of our currently ruling party,
seems to be self-aware enough to set off and not take part in matters that he
does not have the maturity to preside. This leaves us with a more reality-depicting
image of Tywin on the Iron Throne with other jury members on either side. The
other jury members being Mace Tyrel, essentially a white Alok Nath (incidentally
he’s also Margaery’s father which makes the analogy almost too correct), and
Lord Oberryn, who with his antics during the trial reminds you of that Delhi
friend we all have who interrupts all your romantic stories of new
relationships with ‘voh sab toh theek hai, but sex hua kya?’
Frankly the witnesses of this trial made the
ones in ‘No one killed Jessica’ look more honest. Right from the vicious old
fart Pycelle, who seems to be modelled on Asaram Bapu, right to the final nail
in the coffin, Shae herself, but let’s get to that later.
In between the trial proceedings, after the first few
witnesses and during what seemed like a recess, Jaime Lannister tries to appeal
to the Sreesanth in his father and offers to strike a deal just to get his
brother to live, something to which Tywin agrees after adding his million
stipulations. But apparently, there was no real requirement for all that.
Some real wise person had once said ‘hell hath
no fury like a woman scorned’ and boy, scorned Shae was. When I saw Shae’s testament,
I really had a nervous chill down my spine and made a quick call to my
girlfriend to check if all was fine post yesterday’s fight. While her reply of
‘shut up Abi, talk to you later, in office’ was not really the most romantic
one a guy has ever heard, but it sort of relieved me.
Peter Dinklage’s acting skills
were never really a doubt, but over the next seven minutes his acting makes the
viewer go through his feelings of vulnerability, despair, betrayal, misery,
resignation and finally blind fury in a manner seldom executed by television
actors. If you did not pause and replay the scene where he goes ‘Watching your
vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores’ then you
probably do not know how to pause and play on VLC. (try ‘spacebar’). His confession
was so much like a positive version of ‘You Can’t Handle the Truth’, that Jack
Nicholson would have nodded in acknowledgement.
I am still a little unclear on the trial by
combat situation and how exactly does one go about this. If, like last time in
Arryn Palace, Tyrion gets to choose his representative, then it’s not really a
bad deal and I don’t get what the hullabaloo is all about. I would much rather
have all my trials this way and keep choosing the Great Khali as my rep. In
fact, I was even wondering why in the world Ned Stark didn’t think of this
trial by combat option. As the episode ends, you wonder who will be Tyrion’s representative?
Would it be Jamie Lannister, likely to get superhuman strength in his left hand
fuelled by brotherly love post watching Jo Jeeta Vohi Sikander, or Tyrion’s
good old ally, Bronn, who’s middle name is ‘win by hook or crook’. While we
have to wait a week to find that out, the one thing we certainly do know is
that Tyrion might very well go the Deewar Amitabh Bachan way and get tattoed on
his arm ‘Mera baap madar**** hai.’
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